Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize