DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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