I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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