Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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