i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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