We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
