Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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