You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
