Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
