dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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