I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
