big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
