she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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