Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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