im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
