Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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