they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I didn't notice because vodka
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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