He is an equal opportunity slut.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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