Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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