TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
