If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she peed on how many people?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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