she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
