he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
