Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
