I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
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He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
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I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.