I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.