im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?