I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you win again, gameday.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
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i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
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YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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