I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
