If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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