Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
