Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
