the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
