Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She bit a glass in half.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
