I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
