Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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