i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she smelled like a LAN party
Girls should come with a carfax report
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
