I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
