from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
