my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
