he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
