thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
