So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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