"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize