he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
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It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
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Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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