My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
