he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
