It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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