im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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