So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
