you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
