Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
