im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
