You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
