Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
