But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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