I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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