bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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