You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The ass gains better be worth it
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