Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
