i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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