My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
